Crystal Clear Observations

I've found myself lately stammering over words when I want to wish someone a joyous holiday season. I caught myself doing this during a recent store visit after a pleasant exchange with a sales associate. I reached for my bags and said "Happy Holidays!" and then mumbled "I meant Merry Christmas." As I walked back to my car, I asked myself what was that all about. You see, I am a Christian and my best friend is a Muslim. Our faith has NEVER impacted our relationship. She has been there for me in my darkest hours and she is someone I can always count on. Along the way, I have had close friendships with Jews, Hindus and Muslims and my interactions with them are no different than my interactions with my Christian or non-believer friends. We get together and laugh and enjoy each other's company. When times get tough, and they often do, we listen and support one another. We live in the human experience. Before we choose a religion, we have to remember the humani...

I'm just going to cut to the chase today. I've held my tongue long enough for the sake of diplomacy and getting along peacefully. We, as the American public, have never experienced such electoral divide until an African-American man and a woman became serious contenders for the Commander-In-Chief spot. Never before have we sunk to such campaign lows and lost friendships over a Presidential election. On the surface, a shallow mind would casually observe that true friendships can't be lost over political differences. Obviously, throughout history, people have lived side by side and gotten along peacefully with different political opinions but it is the fundamental differences that drive people apart. A cat cannot befriend a fish. A lion cannot befriend a buffalo. I, as a Black woman, cannot befriend a sexist racist. Some things are not negotiable and I don't apologize for that. For the past 8 years, I have sat back often quietly (quite a challenge for me) and endured ...

I took my dogs to a dog swimming event today. I've always loved swimming and I love dogs so it was a win win situation for me. About 30 minutes into our swimming, a group of dogs appeared and I noticed that one dog had 3 legs. My first instinct was to feel sorry for the dog but as I watched her run around and play and swim, I soon realized that sympathy was not in order because this dog was not missing out a beat! I began to think about how people will let their flaws or imperfections govern their actions even quite possibly missing out on all the fun simply because they look different or feel insecure. I'm at a point in my life where I put on a swimsuit, hop in and have fun!  I don't want to sit on the sidelines and miss out on memories because I'm worried about what I look like to people who don't even matter! So ignore those skinny arms, that crooked tooth, that flabby stomach, the bald spot on your head, etc. and learn to accept yourself as you are. That d...

I recently completed my first 5k run. Those who follow me on social media know that I started training for this months in advance. As a kid who couldn't run at recess due to asthma (my left lung collapsed twice) and as an adult managing chronic asthma, running was not an activity that I ever imagined I would enjoy or participate in. Not to mention I have had 4 left knee surgeries including an ACL replacement as a result of a cheerleading injury that never got repaired timely! Preparing for such a physical challenge really opened my eyes to some valuable life lessons. The way you prepare for one thing is an indication of how you prepare for anything. 1) Set your own pace. When you begin any new challenge, your biggest competitor is yourself. Don't worry about what others are accomplishing or at what speed they are accomplishing things. This is your new challenge and you are working towards your personal best. Someone boasted on social media that they didn't need to t...

Do you remember what it was like to stand in the shallow end of the swimming pool as a child? You probably got real comfortable quickly because you knew you weren't going anywhere. Did you ever want to swim across the pool and venture into deep waters? The shallow end allows you to see eye to eye with people on a superficial level. The deep end challenges you and sets you apart from just standing.....stagnant. Life is like a swimming pool. You can't expect a deep relationship with a shallow person. People will come into your life; many asking for a raft or a swimming lesson but always standing in the shallow end. I learned to swim at an early age. In fact, an in-ground swimming pool was a childhood birthday present. With each stroke, I grew stronger and more confident until the shallow end was no longer fun for me. Seek relationships that are meaningful and deep. Relationships built on lies, insecurities and falsehoods won't help you grow. People will reveal t...

Yesterday, I reached 9 years as a breast cancer survivor. I count my diagnosis date as my annual milestone as a survivor. On what should have been a joyous day, a cowardly act only reminded me that life is full of unaccepted acts that will only set you back momentarily. My daughter's car was hit and damaged by a hit and run driver yesterday. Despite the obvious anger and disappointment, we were thankful that she wasn't injured. The whole incident was a reminder that you can be going through life when an unexpected and undeserving event can rock your world. It is how you handle those obstacles that will define your character and measure your strength. You never know how strong you are until you have to be strong. When I was diagnosed, initially I was terrified. I actually put off chemo therapy for 9 weeks simply out of fear. This was not a wise move nor was it a move driven by knowledge. I was simply afraid of the unknown and ready to accept what could have been fatal...

When you're in a good place,  you don't want to leave. I'm grateful for being in a good place in my life right now; mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Things seem to be aligned and I'm happy with the choices I've made and how I have chosen to deal with adversity and setbacks. I used to think that life should be easy. That was when I was young and naïve. Life will ALWAYS have challenges and setbacks but the key is going through it and overcoming those hurdles. Remember setbacks pave the way for amazing comebacks! So embrace the feel good days and the good times. Celebrate the small successes. Unfortunately, there may be tears and challenges around the corner so why not enjoy the ride until you hit the speed bump.

I'm seeing a very disturbing trend. It's a trend where Black athletes, politicians, celebrities and performers are being held to a different standard than their peers. A very judgmental public is trying to create a dynamic to constantly attack and demean the most successful among us. It started last week with the negative posts about Beyoncé's Super Bowl performance announcement. I'm like "Y'all did sit through that Katy Perry fiasco last year, right?" Other than not liking her music or style, I really can't think of any activity or behavior that she has demonstrated that would merit the negative social media comments before she's even performed. Do these same people post about EVERY musician that they don't care for? Why is it so easy and comfortable for some to attack a Black woman? Throughout the NFL season, we see the media turn the spotlight on the on and off the field behavior of Black athletes yet when White athletes engage in the sa...