Crystal Clear Observations

Do you remember what it was like to stand in the shallow end of the swimming pool as a child? You probably got real comfortable quickly because you knew you weren't going anywhere. Did you ever want to swim across the pool and venture into deep waters? The shallow end allows you to see eye to eye with people on a superficial level. The deep end challenges you and sets you apart from just standing.....stagnant. Life is like a swimming pool. You can't expect a deep relationship with a shallow person. People will come into your life; many asking for a raft or a swimming lesson but always standing in the shallow end. I learned to swim at an early age. In fact, an in-ground swimming pool was a childhood birthday present. With each stroke, I grew stronger and more confident until the shallow end was no longer fun for me. Seek relationships that are meaningful and deep. Relationships built on lies, insecurities and falsehoods won't help you grow. People will reveal t...

Yesterday, I reached 9 years as a breast cancer survivor. I count my diagnosis date as my annual milestone as a survivor. On what should have been a joyous day, a cowardly act only reminded me that life is full of unaccepted acts that will only set you back momentarily. My daughter's car was hit and damaged by a hit and run driver yesterday. Despite the obvious anger and disappointment, we were thankful that she wasn't injured. The whole incident was a reminder that you can be going through life when an unexpected and undeserving event can rock your world. It is how you handle those obstacles that will define your character and measure your strength. You never know how strong you are until you have to be strong. When I was diagnosed, initially I was terrified. I actually put off chemo therapy for 9 weeks simply out of fear. This was not a wise move nor was it a move driven by knowledge. I was simply afraid of the unknown and ready to accept what could have been fatal...

When you're in a good place,  you don't want to leave. I'm grateful for being in a good place in my life right now; mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Things seem to be aligned and I'm happy with the choices I've made and how I have chosen to deal with adversity and setbacks. I used to think that life should be easy. That was when I was young and naïve. Life will ALWAYS have challenges and setbacks but the key is going through it and overcoming those hurdles. Remember setbacks pave the way for amazing comebacks! So embrace the feel good days and the good times. Celebrate the small successes. Unfortunately, there may be tears and challenges around the corner so why not enjoy the ride until you hit the speed bump.

I'm seeing a very disturbing trend. It's a trend where Black athletes, politicians, celebrities and performers are being held to a different standard than their peers. A very judgmental public is trying to create a dynamic to constantly attack and demean the most successful among us. It started last week with the negative posts about Beyoncé's Super Bowl performance announcement. I'm like "Y'all did sit through that Katy Perry fiasco last year, right?" Other than not liking her music or style, I really can't think of any activity or behavior that she has demonstrated that would merit the negative social media comments before she's even performed. Do these same people post about EVERY musician that they don't care for? Why is it so easy and comfortable for some to attack a Black woman? Throughout the NFL season, we see the media turn the spotlight on the on and off the field behavior of Black athletes yet when White athletes engage in the sa...

2015. You've dealt me my share of ups and downs with a mix of celebrations and disappointments. But most importantly, I've been able to be in every moment that came my way and that in itself is a gift. I used to let life pass me by. Anger, regret and attitude would prevent me from enjoying life or spending quality time with people I care about. I'd be at the moment but not really be in the moment; already thinking about the next appointment or engagement or obligation instead of enjoying the current one. 2015 was labeled my "fearless" year. I started the year by mountain climbing Camelback in Arizona; not an easy feat. With each step that took me higher, my fears were minimized and new confidence gained. When I stood at that mountaintop and looked down, I accepted that getting to the top is never easy and it requires faith in each step. I went out on a jet ski for the first time and released a fear of being on the open water. I have sailed on cruises befo...

My friend Barbara, a fellow breast cancer survivor, and I at my birthday party. She's been one of the strongest women I've known this year.   Every year around my birthday, I sit down to blog about the past year. 43 to 44 was ROUGH! There were more highs than lows but the disappointments came from putting my trust, time and energy into the wrong relationships. I failed at my first attempt of re-entering the workforce after 10 years as an entrepreneur. And that's okay. To admit failure is to admit you tried. If you fail and take the experience as a learning opportunity, you walk away a winner. If you walk away angry or resentful, then they win. I made the mistake of assuming that coworkers are your friends. Granted, I met my very best friend at work but she is a rare jewel. Lesson learned: Be professional. Be polite. You can even be friendly but leave those colleagues out of your personal life and set your expectations low that they truly care about your well bein...

I remember the first time I put on the Boyz in the Hood album on my record player. I couldn't wait to get my hands on this new sound! It played so loudly from my room that my dad walked down the hallway to turn me to "turn that mess down or off!" Since my parents didn't like it, I think I played it more. Hey, I was a rebellious teen who thought she was a bad ass. Rap music has always resonated with me. From my wayward teens through my turbulent twenties and now in my fabulous forties, the lyrics were and still are a reflection of what I see and what those around me may be going through. I loved the genre so much that I completed a senior honors thesis at The University of Houston on gangsta rap and the feminist movement. The Dean of the program tried to talk me out of researching this topic citing it "lacked academic merit" but I "stood my ground" and got it approved. My husband and I were so excited to finally see the biopic "Straigh...