Showing posts from March, 2014

Addressing Your Perceived Haters

What is a hater? Is a person who simply doesn't like you a hater? Do we put ourselves on such a high pedestal that we feel like everyone should constantly praise, celebrate and applaud our every move? If a person offers constructive criticism, do we label them a hater?

Quite simply put, a hater is someone in your circle who secretly desires to be you. They are willing to lend an ear or offer input into your personal negativity or drama but when you have a positive attribute or accomplishment, they are nowhere to be found. A hater will sit back and secretly hope for you to fail. Unlike an enemy, a hater wants a front row seat but is not in your audience.

So why do we give so much time and attention to our perceived haters? We dedicate time and energy into addressing the haters through tweets and status updates which only validates their opinion matters to you. By even taking the time to address them, you subconsciously fuel them further.

Keep yourselves far from envy; it eateth up…

Lupita's Oscar Win a Win for ALL skin tones

Like most people, I was elated to see young newcomer Lupita Nyong'o win an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress for her role in "12 Years A Slave." Throughout the award season, she has been a fashion standout and has captivated the public with her beauty, poise, elegance and humble heart.

I remember when Halle Berry won the Oscar for "Monster's Ball." I was absolutely ecstatic because she was the first African-American woman to nab the Best Actress Oscar. What I don't remember is saying to myself "This is for all the light skin, yellow, mixed race girls with long hair out there." And I certainly didn't use it as an opportunity on social media to elevate my own perception of beauty.

Yes, Lupita has darker skin. Yes, Lupita has shorter hair and yes, she is to be celebrated for who she is but there are those who take this opportunity to elevate their self esteem by putting other women down who don't share in these physical features yet we {l…