Another Year-A little wiser

My friend Barbara, a fellow breast cancer survivor, and I at my birthday party. She's been one of the strongest women I've known this year.

 

Every year around my birthday, I sit down to blog about the past year. 43 to 44 was ROUGH! There were more highs than lows but the disappointments came from putting my trust, time and energy into the wrong relationships.

I failed at my first attempt of re-entering the workforce after 10 years as an entrepreneur. And that's okay. To admit failure is to admit you tried. If you fail and take the experience as a learning opportunity, you walk away a winner. If you walk away angry or resentful, then they win.

I made the mistake of assuming that coworkers are your friends. Granted, I met my very best friend at work but she is a rare jewel. Lesson learned: Be professional. Be polite. You can even be friendly but leave those colleagues out of your personal life and set your expectations low that they truly care about your well being. Better to be surprised than let down.

I've also learned that no matter how bad things may seem, if you stay focused and positive, eventually they will turn around and you will embrace the endless possibilities of a fresh start. Going several months between jobs was challenging but I never gave up. Just told myself that the right opportunity would come along. In the meantime, I did things that would help me get to the end goal rather than things that were counterproductive.

I developed a zero tolerance policy for toxic people and got the courage to cut them out of my life. Toxic people prohibit your growth and development. Nothing good will come from association with those who thrive in seeing you struggle or who hold you back from being your best. They condone your bad behavior rather than telling you when you are wrong or making a fool of yourself. You will be at your worst and they applaud. Learn to change your audience!

I learned not to apologize for being myself and for taking time off to be good to me. One shouldn't feel guilty for putting their own needs and wants first every now and then. You can't be good for anyone else if you aren't good to yourself.

This past year has kept me in good health and I've maintained my health and fitness goals by being more aware of the impact that diet and exercise has on my well being. I set goals that are best for me and my physical challenges and don't minimize my progress based on what others are accomplishing. I am fully confident that I can complete my first 5k run within the next few months.

Social media. Argh. It's been a thorn in my side. People put too much energy being passive aggressive on social media and I'm committing to ignoring the people who use it to thinly hide their anger or envy at others. There is something to be said when you consciously type a post aimed at being hateful or hurtful at others. Why even exude energy like that when you can take the higher road or turn the other cheek? Why are you letting people know they have power over your thoughts?

Most importantly, I have experienced first hand how the love, support and encouragement from the right people in your life can elevate you to new heights. Sometimes you simply outgrow people and you must part ways. I've never been one to be superficial so trying to revive a dead relationship isn't my strong suit.

I'm looking forward to reaching 45! I hope to continue to grow stronger and wiser and always have gratitude for the people who are a positive and unconditional source of love and support in my life.