April Woes

April is a tough month for me. Once I get past all the silly April Fool's Day pranks (I've just never liked playing tricks on people), I am forced to ride an emotional roller coaster. My father passed away on Good Friday in 1991. Despite the number of years that have passed, I always remember him fondly as we head into the month of April.
April 24th, 2007, was a day that I will never forget. It was the third worst day of my life. I heard the dreadful words "You have breast cancer." Each year, I always celebrate in some manner reaching another remission milestone but something tragic happened to our family on April 12th, 2011, that will forever cause my heart to ache in April each year. My husband and dog were attacked by two pit bulls and had to fight for their life. Sadly, only my husband survived.
I'm actually embarrassed at how much losing my dog hurt and how it is impacted my life. I feel like a void exists despite having brought two new dogs (bichons) into our home. I am tremendously thankful that my husband survived the attack and valiantly fought for Cotton but I am saddened on so many levels at the possibilities of this vicious attack (it could have been me or my daughter walking him that day) and the failure of an apology or accountability from the dog's owner's to rectify the situation. With legal matters still pending, it is unresolved.
Cotton sumbolized taking charge of my health and life. I always wanted a dog but never could have one in the house growing up due to my asthma and allergies. Purchasing Cotton was my way of defying the odds and obtaining something I secretly desired for years. He brought so much laughter and love into our home and he is sorley missed. He had more facebook "fans" and "likes" than most people!
So, I cautiously await the sadness that hovers on April 12th (he died on April 14th) and then I will ride the high of reaching my six year "cancerversary." I'll manage to celebrate my mom's 73rd birthday as well and then remember that Cotton would have been seven years old on April 28th.
May can't get here soon enough.

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